The Safe and Sound Perils of New Mrs. Garrels

A brief biographical account of the somewhat new schoolmistress Mrs. Kayleen Garrels and her three spindly dogs.

Mrs Garrels in her natural habitat. (Rachel Jacobs ’26)

Mrs. Kayleen Garrels, a sweeping profile in the academic society as a whole, has recently joined the Barstow community as a Middle and Upper School science teacher. Becoming a Scallywag of Science has prowled along the horizons of Mrs. Garrels’ dreams for many a year to pass, but she believes she has a brimming journey ahead of her and is not yet finished trouncing goals and aspirations alike.

Born on a naval base in San Diego, Mrs. Garrels’ childhood playmates were submarines and gleaming administrative facilities alike until her father, a naval gentleman, decided to work for the railroad instead. He wished to halt his military globe-trotting glory in order to frequent his home and family more regularly. Rather contrary to his wishes, though, their home always perched somewhere ages and ages hence, and they moved often.

Now a resident of Greater Kansas City, Mrs. Garrels has been willingly shackled to an age group widely known for their tempestuous miens and clawing, tortured souls: The Murmuring Muckle of Middle Schoolers. “I remember that time for myself very clearly,” said Mrs. Garrels, “and I remember having a hard time and not always being the best about asking for help when I needed it”.

She hopes to remain sanguine as she is plunged back into the abyss of spooky adolescence, and hopes to seldom leave her pupils crestfallen in the absence of intrigue. She teaches Eighth Grade Earth Science and Upper School Life Science and is willing to prevail upon the covert chicanery of her youthful hoodlums in order to affix her wisdom to the rising of man.

Mrs. Garrels did, in fact, have preconceived notions regarding The Barstow School. As she scribbled her way through her University of Missouri – Kansas City essays, she met an alumna of our amiable Barstow home, and was taken aback by the earnest dedication the erstwhile Barstow student possessed. Upon meeting this woman, Mrs. Garrels was filled with an awe as broad as the rising sun, and felt a profound yearning to be a part of such a community. 

Mrs. Garrels feels positively buoyant regarding The Barstow School, although she admitted to not having a particularly favorite intestine. She did, though, confirm her wish to transmogrify into a flattering piece of Mediterranean shrubbery one day. Mrs. Garrels also possesses an enthralling etymology to her name.

Mrs. Garrels’ grandmother was an esteemed lady called Kathleen, thus stemming the name ‘Kayleen’, as in ‘Kayleen Garrels’. The given name ‘Kayleen’ sounds splendidly novel, but according to recent studies, one in every 12,444 infants were named Kayleen in 2021. This data does not draw from the extraordinary rapture the name Kayleen inspires, but rather, enhances it. Mrs. Garrels would fancy this article to be featured in the National Geographic magazine over any other newspaper in existence, which attests to her devotion to the field of science, and attests to her snazzy way of life.  

Mrs. Garrels lives with her husband and three of their friends. Her housemates are human, Newfoundland mix, German Shepherd mix, and Akita Mix, respectively, and are most particularly fluffy. Living with three dogs might sound disorderly and wild, but  Mrs. Garrels, upon being asked if she liked chaos, replied without hesitation, “no.”

To all who waltz through the hills and dales of not being thoroughly acquainted with Mrs. Garrels, Mrs. Garrels says, “I think of myself as a pretty friendly and easy going person, so don’t be afraid to say hi.”

Author

  • Rachel I. Jacobs resides as the official scumdiddling troucher of Kansas City. She is a solemn professional who is so well-known that she doesn’t even have to wear a name tag. Rachel’s favourite letter combinations are either WR, SN, or GR, and she loves them so much that she finds herself routinely cramming them into sentences (she also likes the letter M). Charle Scabjo (as she anagramically named herself)’s noblest aspiration in life is to empty out the Costco warehouse and slide about the building in her socks. She enjoys sliding about warehouses in her socks (not that she’s ever done so), although she is rather prone to toppling over and wounding the floor (sorry, mate). She hopes to one day become a space pirate (her vicious gurgling-noises are steadily improving) for the insurance-benefits and inclusive work environment, and takes delight in eating egg salad. Rachel’s cats, Agent Sparkles and Edward Zamboni, have, depressingly, never eaten egg salad.

    View all posts
The B-Line Staff thanks you for reading!

Never miss a post!

You'll only be updated when we post something new.

NEVER MISS A POST!

We only email when we have something new to share!