Among Taylor and Travis, honest reactions, AI generations, frat car washes, and the trauma induced by Harry Styles’s newest haircut, the Roman Empire has once again gained relevance in pop culture. The questions “How often do you think about the Roman Empire?” and “What is your Roman Empire?” have floated social media platforms like TikTok and Instagram for weeks now. The Barstow community finally got to speak on the topic. 

On average, a Barstow community member thinks about the Roman Empire roughly twice a week, ranging from “not once, never once,” says Mr. Dan McNickle, the Executive Director of Summer Programs and Extended Care, Community Relations, and Barstow Fund Manager, to “every day” according to Dillon Dixon ‘25. 

When Barstow does think about the Empire, the community ruminates on war strategies and “everything Mrs. Guldin tells me,“ says Mr. Guldin, US English teacher, US Speech teacher, and Interim Grade 11 Coordinator. Other things include the Caesar family, emperors and their drama, architecture, stealing from the Greeks, history class, emulating the might of the empire, the rise, the fall, how much they miss it, togas, conquering their enemies, how big it was, self-centered Europeans, technological advancements, the Roman Emperors paper, philosophers, trivia, Percy Jackson, and the (Greek) Trojan horse. 

Applying these thoughts of the Roman Empire to his daily life allows Mr. Guldin to “live in a constant state of marvel and overwhelm about how intensely knowledgeable Mrs. Guldin is,” and helps Izzy Parr ‘26 “conquer everything in sight and make everything go [her] way.” These thoughts also help Mr. Dembinski, a US Science teacher, and the US Knowledge Bowl Varsity Coach, “correctly answer more Jeopardy! questions.”  

However, there is an overwhelming amount of ceaseless thoughts plaguing the Barstow community ranging from the humorous to the macabre. Some folks only have a couple things on their minds, like Mr. Dan McNickle who said, “Sports and my family. In that order.” Peruse at your pleasure and peril. These are in no particular order.

For as many current obsessions we might have, there’s an equal amount of past infatuations. Whether they went away due to “maturation and a new purified sense of taste,” like in Mr. Guldin’s case, or a plain loss of interest, here’s a list of Barstow’s fallen empires: recess, Fortnite, Bethany Hamilton, hamsters, Star Wars, the Hunger Games movies, Miss Piggy, Back to the Future, the concepts of time and death, The Book Thief, baseball and baseball statistics from ‘76 – ‘02, William Faulkner, obscure literary things, traveling and working abroad, being fluent in Spanish, Percy Jackson, wheels, Papermate Flair pens, tenements in New York City in the 19th-20th century, Roblox, The Game of Thrones, “those fairy books,” (Avani Lakkireddy ‘24), and trading cards. Unless you’re like Dillon Dixon ‘25, and “do not dwell on such things long enough to remember.”

Barstow’s Roman Empires help individuals to conquer their lives in many ways. In Jackson Williams ‘25’s case, they “give [him] a reason to get through the school day and the arduous chore that is education.” For many, their Roman Empires bring them comfort, joy, help them to connect with other people’s interests, and grow as people. “It’s kinda nice to have idiosyncrasies to enjoy. They’re important, even if they’re small” says Avani. Or, if they’re odd enough, provide escape routes for unwanted conversations. Roman Empires can also help people find direction and purpose, like Dillon, “I’m going to find my one piece.” 

Unfortunately for some, having Roman Empires can “make it worse” according to Alex Norman ‘25. They can remind us that “even the conquerors eventually face destruction, and it’s best to remind [ourselves] one day ours will fall apart,” says Mr. Guldin. Mrs. Guldin, the Interim History & Social Science Department Chair, reminds us that “a lot of Roman conquest was about taking. I hope I’m giving more than I’m taking and being collaborative with my peers. Even if finding that balance can be hard sometimes.” 

So, Barstow, keep building your empires. Just remember, no one expects the Roman battalion.

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