Dylan Markey and Chetan Thomas are honoured beyond their mittens.

Recently, more than five hundred students auditioned for the Kansas City Metro All-District Choir. Extraordinarily, Dylan Markey ‘23 and Chetan Thomas ‘23, both Barstinian twelfth-graders, were selected to join this sterling band of singers. We live in a land of competitive choirs, and the Kansas City Metro District is, to quote the head of Barstow’s Music Department Dr. Josh Markley, “one of the most if not the most competitive districts in the state.” 

The auditioning process is, as Dylan Markey said, “very fun,” and, as Chetan Thomas ‘24 said, “honestly really stressful.” The audition comprised multiple sections. The first involves singing a song (limping lollipops! What a surprise!). The song sung could have been any song that has ever existed, and of the billions of possible noises either of them could have chosen to emit, Mr. Markey chose “Vagaband” and Mr. Thomas chose “I Bought Me a Cat” (for reference, he didn’t actually buy me a cat). The judging was wholly and utterly blind (nobody’s eyes were gouged in the process), meaning that contenders stared at a lovely bit of wall as they sang, while the judges judged on the other side.

Subsequent to their melodic bellowing sat the “sight reading room” (your cue to shudder melodramatically). The “sight reading room” consisted of a key signature identification bit (for both sharps and flats), a sight reading portion, and then some sort of audio fill-in-the-blank, and was, to quote Mr. Thomas ‘24, “what I was mostly stressed about.” The judges judged on their accuracy, and again were clouded from view by a wall (who are quite the impediments if I do say so myself). 

Mr. Thomas has some gnat-like misforgivings about the process, saying that “8:40 in the morning is too early to be singing and I could’ve done better than I think I did.” Despite his grunkly qualms, he made it in, so he mustn’t have been too dreadful. 

Particulars aside, what does being a Kansas City Metro All-District Choirer consist of? A spork? A spoonerism? A triangularly-sliced marmalade sandwich? Not really, sorry, mate. A CONCERT? Yes! Hurrah! Hurrah! How positively exhilarating! And at the concert, besides for noise and crowds and vibrating vocal cords? Another audition! Yahoodly hoodles away. The Kansas City Metro All-District Choir Concert (which takes place on the 24th of October, where you will most certainly be, shrieking about your love for Mr. Thomas ‘24 and Mr. Markey ‘24), wriffle auditions for the All-State Choir! 

On the whole, even if you are badly-piped and have a crookedly-warbling throat with nary a chance of singing before the Queen, you should, as Mr. Markey ‘24 said, “go out and audition, even if you don’t think you’ll get it, because there’s nothing to be embarrassed about”.